526-Michael Phelps

So Michael Phelps wins fifty gold medals in the Olympics and then gets caught sucking on the bong. So What! Well, Kellogg’s freaked out and pulled all of the boxes with his picture off the store shelves fearing that too many corn-flake-eating Republicans would drop a load of Cap’n Crunch in their trousers if they saw this pot-head on breakfast food. So they did a dirty trick and now only sell these flakes in Mexican markets where the shoppers don’t know who the hell Michael Phelps is anyway (since he doesn’t play soccer). So here was a shelf of pot flakes. I was trying to figure out how to get a carton of them back to Alaska. Certain things are legal up here and nobody gives a shit what you do. It’s the Last Frontier – remember? Corn Flakes are best smoked with brown sugar.